||[Jul. 4th, 2009|10:54 pm]
|||||Ashes to Ashes by Tripod||]|
There's something that bugs me. Sure, I know, it's an LJ post, and venting things that irritate one seems mandatory, but I feel that it's something that holds a spate of conviction for a change. Or not. Who knows. But anyway..
As many of you know, I have a tendency to sing a lot, be it in public or the privacy of my own home. Some may say I have no shame, but I think it's more a case of my love of singing taking the foreground to my own inhibitions, limited as they may be. Or, to put it more simply, I love singing and often find it hard to understand why people have such a hard time accepting me just singing at a fairly calm volume, to myself. If I was sitting/standing still and on a street corner, people may just throw money my way, but walking around in public and singing purely for my own enjoyment is somehow odd.
Now, I've never been one to really care what others think, or at least not in the last 5-10 years of my life. I know, or at least, I think I know, that my friends accept and love this as a part of me and don't care that I like to sing a lot, even if some of them may give me a bit of a wide berth for the time I am singing, and sure, that's fine. But what still sometimes bothers me is the propensity for people to mock me in many varied ways while I'm doing it. I know that this is a sort of violation of social norms, even taboo, but it's not a particularly big one. The funny thing is that I think I'd get less of a reaction if I yelled an expletitive at someone than just calmly and quietly singing to myself. And I guess the reason that it's now I've chosen to be bothered by it is sometimes ignoring all of those snide remarks, those douchebags dancing mocking little jigs in my direction.. etc sometimes my coping mechanisms falter and I need to let it out a little. I'll probably talk to someone a bit more about it later, but writing it helps a little.
As a side note, the other thing I find odd about singing in public is that people automatically assume you're doing it because you're happy. I'm often singing rather melancholy little ditties to myself and people seem to think I'm all super happy. *sigh* This doesn't bother me anywhere near as much, but I still find it very odd.
Thanks for listening.